The Clashy Ring Attire Wrestlemania 33 Review
WrestleMania 33 wasn’t really bad per say. WWE has gotten the concept of spectacle down to a science to the point where they don’t really make “bad” WrestleManias anymore. Mostly this rewatch of WrestleMania 33 felt a lot like the initial viewing a year ago, but perhaps more. Again, I was surprised by how good AJ vs. Shane ended up being. Even remembering that I was surprised by the match last year, this still felt like an unexpected highlight of the show. A rewatch also reaffirmed that the under five minutes of Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar was the perfect way to handle that match. Once again, it was enjoyable to watch, and perhaps without the potential dread of the match going on too long, it was a match that may have actually improved upon rewatchings.
But just like the enjoyable parts were still enjoyable, the dumb parts of the show were still bad, and were even harder to sit through a second time around. The mixed tag match was ok, but the proposal at the end felt like it took forever this time around. It was fun enough to watch live, but watching it a second time, especially knowing that the whole show was going to break the five hour mark, made it feel like this segment ground the whole show to a halt. Same thing with the Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton match. This is a match that may have gotten worse now that we know how badly Wyatt as a character would be treated in the year between this WrestleMania and the next one. Knowing that Wyatt is walking into this show as the WWE champion and then getting nothing of note for a year (except perhaps partaking in the Ultimate Deletion, depending on your personal preference) makes this match feel like a waste of time. It’s not good enough to stand on its own, and the screen projections are even stupider this time around knowing that they ultimately amounted to nothing.
Of course any commentary on WrestleMania 33 has to address the main event. I’m not one to say that a main event can make or break a show, especially a WrestleMania. A bad final match can definitely hurt a show as a whole, but it can’t undo the rest of the show if everything else has been up to snuff. That being said, Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns is a rough note to end the show on. First of all, this is coming on the heels of two previous shows where Roman Reigns was (arguably) undeserving of his spot closing out the show. There’s also the fact that this match felt like it was sacrificing the Undertaker legacy at WrestleMania on the altar of “anything to get Roman over.” And all that could have been fine if the actual match had been memorable. Despite all the complaints about Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania 31, most people will say that the two put on a great match, even before the Seth Rollins cash in. But in this case, it just wasn’t meant to be. Roman and the Undertaker never felt like it was able to build any momentum or gain any tractions. This match has a huge uphill battle to begin with ,and it’s a slog of a match at the end of a very long show. Even stripping away all of the background information you have on the match, bell to bell, it’s one of the weaker Undertaker matches in the past decade.
A year removed from WrestleMania 33, it feels like this is one that you don’t need to revisit. Not that there isn’t anything good about this one, again check out Shane vs. AJ. It’s surprising how surprising it still is. But however you felt about this show last year, is probably how you feel about it now. There’s nothing that feels like it works better or worse with a year of reflection. The things that were good in 2017 feel good now. The things about the show that were bad still have the same problems they did a year ago if not more so. Maybe a year isn’t enough time to gain a new perspective on this show. But I think the more likely explanation is that there isn’t really a new perspective to be gained.
Kue: It’s very telling when the best match in a wrestling card is AJ Styles vs Shane McMahon. Nothing against either guys or the match (which was legit great), but damn, was this card full of disappointments. Two potential show stealers in Neville vs Aries and Ambrose vs Corbin were thrown into the pre-show, while matched like Rollins vs Trips and Wyatt vs Orton ended up being so underwhelming, it’s just disheartening to think about. Both women’s title matches were solid, but showcased the “jam every woman in one match” booking that has still survived through the years and continues to plague the division. And the Lesnar V Goldberg match was so through-the-motions and predictable that it sucked out any real excitement for the match itself.
The only two moments from the show that stood out were the return of the Hardys and Taker’s supposed retirement, both of which have now been watered down to trite due to the messy booking of the Woken angle and Taker now not being retired, respectively.
All in all, this Mania is one that is better left forgotten.
Chris: The one thing that remained the same from the time I watched the live to a year later is that AJ/Shane was match of the night. For me, time has been kind to Wrestlemania 33 because I remember feeling pretty middle-of-the-road immediately after it in 2017 but now I enjoyed rewatching it more than I thought I would. The fact that AJ was about to have that good of a match against someone who wrestles maybe twice a year is further testament to his ability to have quality matches with just about anyone that he's put up against. Kevin Owens and Jericho was better than I remembered with the highlight being KO's finger on the rope, weirdly enough. I think the reason why the match originally left a "meh" taste in my mouth was that the finish was a powerbomb to the ring apron and then KO had to pick up Jericho, roll him back into the ring and then get the pin. The excitement and build-up to the finish was extinguished in the time that it took to do all of that. KO was billed as a merciless, prize fighter filled with rage over Jericho ruining his Universal title reign and was hell-bent on taking everything from Chris. I don't think it would've been out of character for KO to continue the assault after the apron bomb until the referee called for a stop (a la KO vs Sami Zayn in NXT). The Raw Women's Championship match felt like a bit of a rehash of the triple threat from a year before but without Becky and then added Bayley and Nia. I still think it was a mistake to have Bayley win the belt just prior to Wrestlemania. I think a lot of us were in favor of Bayley winning it for the first time at Wrestlemania plus we wouldn't have gotten that weird "Bayley is champion but shouldn't be proud of it because of how she won it" story and I would've completely okay with that. The Hardy's returning was a major highlight of the night and it rounded out the tag ladder match well. I do remember feeling at the time that WWE was basically going to use this match to award the tag belts to Enzo and Cass but the Hardy's return luckily threw a wrench into that. Too bad the Hardy's couldn't do anything about the Cruiserweight belt later in the year. I don't really have much to say about the Cena/Nikki/Miz/Maryse match other than it was WWE's attempt to draw fans of the E! Network and The Today Show. Seemed like that worked so good on 'em.
I did end up liking HHH/Seth more than I thought I would as Seth was a vast improvement of an opponent over Roman the year before. HHH is going to work a slower match and he will try to make up for that pace with story and there's some opponents that works out well with and then other opponents also become slow and prodding (i.e. Wrestlemania 32 w/ Roman). The match did overstay it's welcome and would've benefited more from Seth picking up the pace here and there rather than focus so heavily on the injured knee.
Randy/Bray about put me to sleep. I can't believe WWE expected all of us to get the chills when they used a projector to show gross images. You want to gross us out? Show JBL in his latter part of his active years in his trunks on the projector or replay the debut of Lord Tensai. We got a new WWE Champion and even Randy didn't seem to be thrilled about it.
Goldberg and Lesnar was exactly what it should've been. It didn't wow me, it didn't exceed my expectations but it was the train wreck that we were expecting and Lensar has held the championship hostage ever since.
The six pack challenge was alright but just like the Raw Women's Championship, they ruined it weeks ahead of time. Naomi won the belt and immediately gave it up because of some minor injury that only took her a couple weeks to get over and then won it back in front of her hometown. I know there's no way to predict an injury but WWE really should've held off and had her win it for the first time in front of her hometown Wrestlemania crowd.
Finally, there's Undertaker/Reigns. I will say that this match was way better than it had any business being and I will credit Roman Reigns and his noticeable improvement from the year before. However, the tombstone reversal botch coupled with the absurdly dumb super-spear while Taker wobbled in the middle of the ring waiting for it to happen was all dumb and it was more than enough to ruin the match. All that being said, Undertaker got a perfect send-off after the match and I had really hoped they would leave well enough alone. Also, they should've turned Roman heel the next night. Sure, there might have been some upset children for a little bit but I stand by the idea that a heel Reigns would be a license to print money.
BD: Hello Classy Ring Attire Family. Has it really been another year of me watching exactly zero episodes of RAW and SmackDown? Wow.
To be clear, I think WWE has the best product that they’ve had since I started watching in the early 90’s, and I’ve watched and enjoyed (I think) every single PPV in the past few years. It’s just that the TV shows are too much, and a few years ago I got tired of watching wrestling-themed variety shows that are only there to set up PPV’s. Like, I love WestWorld and Ozark, but if those shows were 5 hours a week? Yeah, no.
Anyway, I’m curious what my boys will put down as their thoughts on this PPV. Let’s see what I can remember.
Aries vs. Neville
I am a huge Austin Aries fan, but his WWE run outside of commentary (and the banana) were disappointing. I was excited to see him on the pre-show but the combo of what he admitted were his own issues and WWE’s use of him, this never really got off the ground. I also really enjoyed Neville, but he obviously had some of his own issues as well. How and ever, this never really got off the ground.
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
This was the standard mostly-jobber cluster that typically a languishing mid-carder or a recent call-up from NXT will usually win, and here we are again. I remember Mojo getting a help from an athlete of some kind, so basically it was a way to bring a celebrity into the ring, which I think we all know is exciting for everyone always.
Funny enough, post-WM they did absolutely nothing with Mojo, but Jinder, who lost a jobber battle royal on the pre-show went on to have a long and inexplicable World Title Run. So basically their track record of utilizing this battle royal properly remains unblemished.
Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin
Dean Ambrose is awesome. I still can’t believe he curtain jerked a WM in 2018. Baron Corbin bores the hell out of me. I remember this being fairly forgettable despite a decent effort from both guys.
AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon
I *hate* Shane McMahon matches. I absolutely cannot stand the anticlimatic “beat the tar out of Shane until he makes a brief comeback, then Spike Dudley him and we all go home” format while the announcers scream “OMG HE’S THE GM AND THE BOSSES SON” as if that concept wasn’t used up when Kane literally hooked up his balls to a car battery, and it’s even worse when we waste an AJ Styles match on it.
Wow, so far this is not looking good. Maybe I don’t love WWE PPV’s as much as I thought? It’s just a bizarre use of the massive depth of talent they have.
Fun fact: I’m rooting for Shane’s stomach virus this year so that we can put an actual wrestler with Bryan against Owens and Zayn. I promise it’ll be so much better.
Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho
This was a cool match, like most Owens and maybe half of Jericho’s prior to his amazing match against Kenny Omega. Owens will probably always be entertaining regardless of what he does, and he’s a great wrestler on top of it. So far this is easily the best match of the night.
Bayley vs. Nia Jax vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks
Not a huge fan of 4-way matches but this one was good enough that I do remember it. I think even Nia was used well here, and I’m not a huge Nia fan. I remember thinking we’d get a Sasha turn here, and a year later we’re still waiting for it.
The Hardy Boyz vs. Cesaro & Sheamus vs. Big Cass & Enzo Amore vs. Gallows & Anderson
I remember the pop the Hardys got coming back and while I always made fun of the overly produced “DELETION” skits, it was cool to see them come back. (Just so you know, I don’t hate the characters, but those “ULTIMATE DELETION” style things are horrifying, and, fair warning, if you loved it, I’m going to be making fun of you.) This is likely the last time (hopefully) we’ll see Enzo or Big Cass at a WrestleMania, and hopefully the last time we’ll see the Club underutilized - I love seeing Balor Club again.
This was a pretty good match, and I never say that about anything involving Shaemus. See, now the show is improving a lot. The only thing that could break this great momentum would be if the next match included The Miz or John Cen...
John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse
... there it is. I honestly don’t even know what to say about this. It was absolutely as awful as everything I imagined. These two single-handedly tanked an entire previous WrestleMania, so what better to do with them 6 years later than throw in their girlfriends, a horrible wrestler and a non-wrestler (respectively).
Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
“Yeah, we’re heavily advertising it, promoting it, building up to it on RAW, putting video packages together for it, and giving it 20 minutes on our biggest show of the year, but we don’t sanction it.” I hate the idea of “non-sanctioned” matches almost as much as I hate Shane McMahon matches. It’s something that backwoods hicks believed in the 20’s, but there’s no reason to not make it one of their 80 versions of a no-holds-barred match.
Anyway, Triple H is so far past his expiry date that it’s ceased to be funny and is now just sad, but Seth Rollins is Seth Rollins, and he carried HHH to easily his best outing in years. Again, Seth could have done about 20 more entertaining things on this card, but the “Kingslayer” gimmick was admittedly quite cool.
Oh, and for at least the dozenth time, can you PLEASE stop with the horrible HHH entrances now please? If I’m watching and someone comes in the room while that’s on, I have to explain that I think wrestling is stupid too.
Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt
I love Bray Wyatt but see every comment I made about HHH and John Cena, take about 10% off, and you have my opinion of Randy. Bray had no chance of making this match good. It doesn’t help when the buildup of all Bray’s matches are exactly the same, and it’s not an improvement when you put him in Ultimate Deletion with a couple gothic rednecks. Which are really the worst kind of rednecks.
Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg.
I could honestly go on and on about this. My opinion of Brock in the ring isn’t great UNLESS he’s with the right opponent, and then it’s really more about them than him. How and ever your opinion goes on that, you feed him HHH, Punk, Show, Undertaker, Cena, Rollins, and probably a bunch of others I can’t even remember, then you job him out - twice - to a 10-year retired wrestler who wasn’t really much of a draw in the first place, who’s LAST match with the same opponent was so horrible that even the live crowd turned on it and booed both guys out of the building. All so you can promote a video game that would have sold exactly as many copies whether you did it or not.
This was horrible and short, which is at least better than horrible and long. Brock beating Goldberg doesn’t erase the 3 losses (which include 2 very recent squashes) to Goldberg (again, Goldberg, of ALL people. GOLDBERG.) but somehow Brock won the feud? Yay?
It didn’t help that Goldberg went on Twitter about an hour before the event saying he was going to be taking time off, either. Just great stuff all around.
Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya
While I don’t remember much about this, I remember being fairly pleased with it given the amount of people and the amount of time they had. Time constraints are what they are with a roster like this, so it is what it is, but it should also be said that all these women are fantastic. I want another Lynch title run,
Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker
Important note: I love Undertaker, but enough is enough. Guy is turning in to Terry Funk with the cryptic retiring and near-retirings. Roman is actually not all that bad a wrestler, and I have no specific objection to him, he just doesn’t excite all that much one way or the other.
That being said, this was awful. We knew it would be, and it didn’t disappoint. Literally everyone knew there was no way Roman was losing, and likely everyone knew what would be happening after. This was so bad it made me pine for Lesnar / Undertaker, and ALMOST pine for HHH / Lesnar (but not quite). It also took until the dawning of the next ice age for Undertaker to leave, at the end of a goddamn 7-hour show or something.
That is all. Keep it trashy.
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