Dead By Dawn? I don't think so.

So here it comes. We all knew it was coming. The official IBA review of Evil Dead.

SPOILERS AHEAD! You have been warned.

Now, there is nothing like the Evil Dead. And THAT was nothing like the Evil Dead.
I first heard that this movie was being made back last fall and I was immediately on board. I didn't know anything about it besides the fact that Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell were going to be consultants/producers for it. I had heard several different things about it being a Army of Darkness sequel or as a reboot of the series or as a straight up remake of Evil Dead 2. But regardless, I was excited. I mean, everything else that has come out of this franchise has been absolute gold. Both ED movies, AoD, and especially the musical! Gold. Every one of them. So how could they screw this up?
I don't know how they pulled it off, but they did.
If this movie were titled something different and had no connections to Evil Dead, it would have been a passable horror film. Instead, this was a gritty, down-to-earth, reboot of the original film. The first Evil Dead was written and filmed as an honest horror/comedy movie. The fact that it ended up being much more comedic than horrifying in the long run really played to the genius that was the script and creators. This reboot took the horror to a modern level. If you've seen any horror movies in the last 15 years or so, you know what I mean. This film was gory for gore's sake. The effects were hyper realistic and, while they did use a lot of physical effects stuff and didn't dive head-over-heels into CGI, some of it felt a bit over the top. This by itself isn't a problem. (I mean, fountains of blood pouring out of the cellar at the end of the first ED) However, they did not try to make us laugh when the girl cut her arm off with an electric carving knife. We did not get an amusing one-liner when another character starts cutting her own face open with a piece of broken glass. They went for the SAW angle and gave us blood and guts simply to show blood and guts. That simply isn't the Evil Dead approach. We need something to go along with the disgustingness we are seeing to make it worth while. If a demon get chainsawed in half, we want that chainsaw to be attached to a guy's arm stump.
So there are technical things that make me cringe. And then, there is storyline. First thing I noticed was that none of the characters' names were Ashley. Not even any of the girls. I feel like that was a slap in fans' faces. Next, the first ED movies relied on a stupidly simple initial plot. A few friends take a vacation to a remote cabin to get away and enjoy each other's company. This new film went for something MUCH more depressing. A brother and s few of his friends drag his sister out to the cabin as an intervention to get her to come down off of heroine. There mother died years ago in a mental institution and the brother has been a flaky disappointment to the whole family. So when little sister starts wigging out about demons in the woods and being raped by trees, they all think "Oh, she's just having withdrawal induced panic attacks!" It makes the entire rest of the film feel like such a huge downer. They do little things to entice ED fans into getting excited about what is coming next. We see little throwbacks to the old movies like at the beginning, little sister is wearing a Michigan State sweater. Big brother gives her a circular pendant that looks a lot like the one Ash gives his girlfriend. There are shots of a clock that looks like the old one. But that is as far as they go. The don't take those things and DO anything with them. They just kind of fade away like they were saying "Hey look! We ARE Evil Dead!" Then there are even bigger things. I already said that one chick cuts her arm off after getting bit by little sister. That hacked off arm just disappears. It doesn't come back to torment the survivors even though the demon is sitting there cackling like she knows something is going to happen. There is also a problem with the demons. They stay dead! Three times, a possessed person is put down and they don't get back up! One is even CURED! I have no explanation for it. It makes no since within its own story so I can't even begin to rectify it with Evil Dead as it is.

Anyway, I could go on and on but I feel like you get the drift. Gratuitous gore, references that go nowhere, inconsistencies galore. And not once did anyone say "groovy". That is, until the post-credits Bruce Campbell cameo. That was he saving grace of the film. Go see it just for that one shot. But don't pay full price.

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