Male Nerds and Hypermasculinity
Please forgive the late-night, post-getting-home-and-being-bored inspiration that is this post. Also forgive that I have yet to discover how to put a page break in. This is too long and too serious to take up the whole page. Sorry.
I can see how fighting that stereotype would cause someone to have a chip on their shoulder. And for many (so the stereotype seems) fighting against emasculation has lead to hypermasculinity.
Hypermasculinity can be seen in mainstream culture too. Douche-bros and frat boys are the most obvious example of young men who need to prove their masculinity to the larger group with risky, dangerous, and sometimes illegal behavior. Nerds, because of their already de-masculinized stereotype, are automatically not considered by mainstream culture to participant in hypermasculine behavior. Everyone else doesn't pay enough attention to see there are regrettable similarities between the two.
Hypermasculinity can be defined in as a number of behaviors.
-general disregard for women (women as objects to be used, viewed, and ignored as needed)
-violence against women (sexual assault, rape, battery, stalking, voyeurism, posting nude photos to be mocked and judged on the internet w/o consent, etc)
-need to 'out-man' other men
-disrespect for homosexual men
-need to mock other men for less 'manly' behavior (calls for 'man-card,' referring to other men as pussies or bitches or other terms usually reserved for women)
-inability to show emotions other than rage or aggression (NO CRYING!)
-risky behavior including unsafe sex (w/ or w/0 multiple partners), drug use, unsafe alcohol consumption
In my last post I discussed the kind of men who keep women out of nerd culture, either on purpose or by creepy existence. The types of guys I listed out would do a number of the above behaviors.
We need to look no further than the types of male and female characters that have existed in the last few decades to understand that this does, in fact, exist. Look at any fantasy novel cover from the 80s and you will see a very strong, muscle-y man with a big sword with some mostly naked woman at his feet clinging to his leg or side for protection. Look at the original poster for Star Wars: A New Hope. Look at Conan the Barbarian. And while this mentality is more mocked today than exalted, it still exists. The men don't have to be huge, 'macho' guys anymore, but they can't be too 'girly' either.
And we get to the 'women problem.' As much as we wish humans could be united by mutual mistreatment by other groups, that isn't always the case. One would hope the bullying and torture experienced by male nerds would cause them to understand the pain women and girls have felt under our patriarchal society. But no, sometime bullying and torture warp people into thinking they have the right to do the same to others. This is where male nerds become a problem. Some are inclined to disregard women's complaints as oversensitive and ridiculous. Those in academia are especially problematic because they already assume women are intellectually inferior. After all, women can't be so bad off if they're willing to put up with the 'worse' guys (douche-bros) who treat them even worse. Since women only want to douche-bros anyways and won't give the 'nice-guy' nerds a chance.
We are raised to believe that men and women are so completely different in our communication styles and relationships needs that we might as well be different species. That is utter crap. What it is doing is denying individuality to men and women. It relegates men and women into boxes where all men and all women act, react, and exist in uniformity.
A man who views all women as one will be more inclined to view all women as a object, since their individual relatibility is lost. One who already has poor social skills due to natural shyness or other causes would be even more inclined to believe this. Once a woman is an object, an it instead of she, it is dehumanized. It's/her feelings and opinions do not matter. It/she is there solely for the benefit of whatever man or men it/she is with. Men, then, feel entitled to certain behaviors, actions, etc while in the company of it/her.
This is why women are sexually assaulted and raped. This is why there isn't a harsher penalty for posting nude photos of ex/current girlfriends online without her permission. This why Starfire may have one of the most ridiculous costumes in the entire history of superheroes. This is why it's even happening to begin with. If women had the subjectivity they deserve in this society, we wouldn't be having this very long discussion.
Some men have this very intense need to be 'men.' And they are doing it at the expense of themselves and women. Sometimes these men happen to be nerds and sometimes they don't. While I can't say this for fact, I would guess alot of violence directed against homosexuals is due to hypermasculinity. The only thing worse than being 'girly' is being a 'fag.' And one of the ways to not be gay is to have alot of sex with alot of women.
I want to restate that there are alot of men who are fine, decent, upstanding individuals. I don't want to alienate men who already know the dangers. Some have, in fact, seen their outcast paralleled with other marginalized groups. I just think we need to recognize there is a problem in our midst. And it is a solvable problem as long as men and women work together to end it. This same kinds of issues affect racial minorities too. Hypermasculinity deals with racism too.
And I promise this is my last post for at least a few week ranting about men, barring any unforeseen public incident occurring. I promise I'll say something happy soon.
-Claire
Couldn't agree more with the sentiments of this post, but I think there's an important factor to consider: a male's masculinity is constantly challenged throughout his life. From his time in the womb through to high school and beyond, a male has to struggle to identify as a member of his gender.
ReplyDeleteThe recent sexual rights movement for women has been unquestionably and unequivocably a great and wonderful thing, but it highlights an unfortunate discrepancy in what's "acceptable" for males and females. Women go through their own gender identity struggles, of course, but these are rightly noted and addressed: not so the case with men.
The only thing I really take issue with is the term "hypermasculinity": by listing only negative traits, one gives the impression of masculinity itself being a bad thing, with hypermasculinity being a more profound example. Unless "hyperfemininity" is equally as detrimental, I think the term is problematic.
Regardless of quibbles such as this, it's quite clear - to me at least - that the men who are considered most truly "manly" are those who eschew all these hypermasculine stereotypes: men who treat women with utmost respect, men who don't bully or dominate those weaker or inferior to them, men who are not afraid to cry or show emotion, men who are protective and make things safe. Who do you think is considered more "manly" by the geeks, Batman or the Comedian? Much like how "the truly cool person doesn't care if he's cool," the truly manly man doesn't care about being seen as manly by others.
(I would point out that Conan as written in the original stories was was commendably respectful of women and showed a wide range of emotions, and was even a generous and progressive king who spoke openly of how poetry moved him, but then, the pop culture simplification of the character has turned him almost into the poster boy for this odious hypermasculine stereotype. That's really depressing.)