Rules for Gentlemen

A few years ago I started watching the show NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Service), a criminal investigation TV series focused around Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and his team of agents who, as the title suggests, investigate crimes involving Naval officers. The show features the aforementioned Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Pauley Perrette (who you may recognize from the recent Expedia commercial) and David McCallum (for those of you who were around way back when, he was Illya Kuryakin in The Man From U.N.C.L.E.).

The character Gibbs often refers to a list he has made of rules that he and his team must follow to be both better agents and better people. Some apply specifically to their job (Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene), others are more general tips for life (Rule #12: Never date a coworker) while a few seem to be there to keep his underlings in line (Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine’s coffee if you want to live). It’s said that everyone should compile a list of rules that apply to their daily lives and with this in mind I created a list of rules for gentlemen.

As a self-proclaimed modern day gentleman, I’ve always tried to do what my grandfather instilled in me as far as how to treat people and how to take care of yourself. He has always been the main influence in my life both in gentlemanliness and in general life. Using the knowledge he gave me and my own common sense, I’ve begun to build my own Gibbs-esk list of rules for gentlemen. Though Gibbs’ list is 50 entries long, I’m not sure how long I’ll make mine. I’ll suppose it’ll be as long as it needs to be; it may not be 50 rules long, it may be 100 rules long, but either way it’ll be interesting to put together. At the moment I have 18 entries in no particular order rather than how I thought of them:

1. Always hold a door open for a lady.

2. A reason is never necessary to give a lady something of meaning.

3. Getting into a rut isn’t terrible, per say, but a little bit of imagination and spontaneity will go a long way.

4. “Ladies first” doesn’t just apply to doorways.

5. Walk on the sidewalk between a lady and traffic.

6. Always have a clean cloth handkerchief on hand.

7. Never question a lady about her age or weight.

8. One doesn’t need to speak to seem educated.

9. Think before you speak or act.

10. Never lie to those you care about.

11. When in conversation, don’t focus everything on yourself.

12. When someone does something for you, gives you something or praises you in some manner, say thank you.

13. When someone pays you a compliment, whether you believe it or not, be gracious and say thank you.

14. If you are wearing a hat, tip it to passing ladies and gentlemen, acquaintance or otherwise

15. When taking a lady out on a date, one should assume, unless otherwise planned, that you are to pay for all (or at least most) of the evening’s events.

16. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

17. When appropriate, pull out a lady’s chair for her to sit in.

18. When you say you are going to do something, make every attempt to do it.

Also, a rule I haven’t written down yet, but will always cap off the list, is that “No rule is absolute”; one should always use common sense when applying any one rule to their life. Making this list has made me more aware of what I do and what I should do that I don’t do enough of. My list is kept on my cell phone in the drafts section of my texts so that I can add rules I think of on the go at any time, though I suppose, if I had a smartphone it’d be a simpler endeavor. I highly suggest that everyone make a list for themselves of what they think is a must for their daily lives and occupation. Obviously no two people will use the same rules, but hopefully there will be a constant overlap of common sense/courtesy involved. This well may be what I focus my next articles on, covering one rule in each (or possibly more if one is fairly short, sweet and to the point). Some will be subject to change and rewording to better drive their points home, though that will be what a full article of explanation is for. Feel free to comment on what you think of the rules already up and post what your own list would focus around as well as the rules within.