Nerd Girl Love?
Today in the internet is Support Star Wars and Geek Pride for Katie day. Katie, as we all know by now, is the adorable little nerd girl who was bullied for liking Star Wars and has since received a huge outpouring of support from the Star Wars internet fanbase.
But the heart the situation I feel is being ignored. Katie wasn't bullied for being a 'dork' or a 'loser' by the more 'popular' kids. She was being bullied by other nerd boys. Boys who resented her breaking into their unofficial 'boys club' of Star Wars appreciation. Nerds are bullied too.
Katie isn't the first girl to get this treatment. Plenty of girls have pursued different hobbies and interests when the boys made it clear they couldn't play. And the question is posed by well-meaning people, why girls aren't nerds.
Nerd culture needs to finally accept women and girls as legitimate nerds. Women are making strides everyday for acceptance. More women feel comfortable getting involved and going to Cons. Their visibly is growing and their concerns are being voiced. But we still live in world where it is easier to get a nerdy T-shirt for a man than it is a woman. We still need specialty shops like Her Universe to cater to the women of the culture. While I greatly appreciate what Ashley Eckstein is doing with Her Universe, the fact that she saw a need in the first place shows what we're dealing with.
I'm not blaming all men for this problem. Lord knows, my fellow male Awesome-ites are superb guys to hang around as a woman. And there are plenty of men who have come out in defense of Katie. Plenty of men recognize the inherent awesomeness of nerd women. But unfortunately there are men who resent us for joining their club.
I am talking about the kind of men who still resent the 'popular cheerleader' for ignoring them for the jocks. The kind of men who have yet to realize the 'popular cheerleader' wouldn't have anything in common with them anyway. The kind of men who still put all women into one category. The neck-bearded creepers that automatically assume all women in Slave Leia costumes are tramps who don't mind their personal space and privacy invaded. The ones that assume a girl can't possibly attend a con without her boyfriend/husband dragging her there. The ones that continue to creepily defend the violence against women in comics, and the use of skimpy, nonfunctional, anatomically incorrect female superhero costumes. The ones who only value female cosplayers as fetish items. This kind of man is very problematic and unfortunately dominates the stereotype. They are the ones keeping women out. Talk to any girls who attend cons or exists in a large nerd community and she'll be able to pinpoint at least one or more.
I think we all have a role to play in making women more comfortable showing their nerd love. It won't be easy. It's just as hard in mainstream as it is here. Women who call out men, especially those with 'outcast' chips on their shoulders, don't get called pretty names. They have their opinions delegitimatized because they are 'oversensitive, sexism-card-playing bitches.' Men who call out sexism get accused of homosexuality and femininity, as if that was really an insult. Hypermasculinity is a huge problem in nerd culture. We need to ask for more non-stereotypical female characters. We don't need more damsels in distress or "strong female types' that are equally underdeveloped. We must demand less sexist costuming for female characters and even some man characters. As much as we don't like it, we have to educate people. Change only comes with work.
We need a world where Katie can be Katie without the internet having to support her choices. I want a world where she can grow up into a nerd woman with her opinions valued and her costumed body free from automatic fetish. I want that world now for men and women.
But the heart the situation I feel is being ignored. Katie wasn't bullied for being a 'dork' or a 'loser' by the more 'popular' kids. She was being bullied by other nerd boys. Boys who resented her breaking into their unofficial 'boys club' of Star Wars appreciation. Nerds are bullied too.
Katie isn't the first girl to get this treatment. Plenty of girls have pursued different hobbies and interests when the boys made it clear they couldn't play. And the question is posed by well-meaning people, why girls aren't nerds.
Nerd culture needs to finally accept women and girls as legitimate nerds. Women are making strides everyday for acceptance. More women feel comfortable getting involved and going to Cons. Their visibly is growing and their concerns are being voiced. But we still live in world where it is easier to get a nerdy T-shirt for a man than it is a woman. We still need specialty shops like Her Universe to cater to the women of the culture. While I greatly appreciate what Ashley Eckstein is doing with Her Universe, the fact that she saw a need in the first place shows what we're dealing with.
I'm not blaming all men for this problem. Lord knows, my fellow male Awesome-ites are superb guys to hang around as a woman. And there are plenty of men who have come out in defense of Katie. Plenty of men recognize the inherent awesomeness of nerd women. But unfortunately there are men who resent us for joining their club.
I am talking about the kind of men who still resent the 'popular cheerleader' for ignoring them for the jocks. The kind of men who have yet to realize the 'popular cheerleader' wouldn't have anything in common with them anyway. The kind of men who still put all women into one category. The neck-bearded creepers that automatically assume all women in Slave Leia costumes are tramps who don't mind their personal space and privacy invaded. The ones that assume a girl can't possibly attend a con without her boyfriend/husband dragging her there. The ones that continue to creepily defend the violence against women in comics, and the use of skimpy, nonfunctional, anatomically incorrect female superhero costumes. The ones who only value female cosplayers as fetish items. This kind of man is very problematic and unfortunately dominates the stereotype. They are the ones keeping women out. Talk to any girls who attend cons or exists in a large nerd community and she'll be able to pinpoint at least one or more.
I think we all have a role to play in making women more comfortable showing their nerd love. It won't be easy. It's just as hard in mainstream as it is here. Women who call out men, especially those with 'outcast' chips on their shoulders, don't get called pretty names. They have their opinions delegitimatized because they are 'oversensitive, sexism-card-playing bitches.' Men who call out sexism get accused of homosexuality and femininity, as if that was really an insult. Hypermasculinity is a huge problem in nerd culture. We need to ask for more non-stereotypical female characters. We don't need more damsels in distress or "strong female types' that are equally underdeveloped. We must demand less sexist costuming for female characters and even some man characters. As much as we don't like it, we have to educate people. Change only comes with work.
We need a world where Katie can be Katie without the internet having to support her choices. I want a world where she can grow up into a nerd woman with her opinions valued and her costumed body free from automatic fetish. I want that world now for men and women.
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